Déjà Vu

Jan. 1st, 2012 07:49 pm
monalisa1492: La Gioconda (Default)
[personal profile] monalisa1492
Wow. Almost a whole year with me not putting anything into my journal. I am so lame.

I re-read my entire journal. It wasn't hard since it's so pathetically small. I find that I would have the same things to say about 2011 that I did about 2010: I like my job but it makes my brain hurt, I dislike the holidays, last year was full of challenges (financial and job-related) but we survived.

I suppose it would be too much if it was too different. I am a creature of habit for as much as I think that I am not. Change does not come quickly unless I am completely fed up with someone or something, and still I have to be really emotionally unstable to make that kind of drastic change. And by drastic, I mean to cut something/someone out. A paying job. A person. A group. As I review the past year and the year before, I find that I am surprisingly OK with the changes I have made for myself.

I honestly like my new job. It's not really new as I'll have been there three years in May. I didn't think it would have been possible to change professions like I did at my age. The planets and universe aligned for me and I went from the commercially artistic realm and plunged into the financial one. I'm swimming in it now. I felt like I was dog paddling for a long time. I have learned so much that I am still surprised by how much have absorbed. I can't afford to be egotistical enough to think I know everything as I listen to my boss and my co-workers and there is still so much I have absolutely no clue about. There's no handbook, professional classes or websites to reference. It's all hands on and it's (sometimes) trial by fire.

I don't miss some of the people I thought I would when I found that our circles don't overlap much anymore. Sure, FaceBook lets us all keep tabs on the folks we love, like and tolerate. I find FB posts like a random 15 seconds of an acquaintance's world. Some are brazen in what they say. For myself, I try not to post anything too over the top in the personal department. If you need to know what's going on, I'm going to call or you're going to call or maybe we'll even meet for lunch and have some face time. FB has brought me in touch with a great many friends I thought I'd lost over the years and for that I am grateful. Still, it's those you slide away from that is disheartening. What the heck happened? People change, circumstances change, variables are thrown in and shit happens. Good or bad, I am more accepting of it as I grow older. I am more at peace. Does age really bring wisdom? Or does getting old make us less tolerant of those that we are no longer compatible with?

I am still making art. I'm trying to be more proactive and yet I find I am still a procrastinator. I have my second sketchbook project to finish. This year I have until the end of January. At least I've already started it, so it's unlike last year when I did it mostly over three days. I have a new Italian Renaissance dress mostly done. That deadline was changed from November to April. I just need to sew on the trim, add the skirt and finish up with the lacings. I have a Polynesian war club to paint and a wooden nightstand to stain. I had hoped to have had all of these projects done already.

Yeah, things change but not too quickly.


monalisa1492: La Gioconda (Default)

April 2012


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